My art and photography are officially for sale!
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=330335650317&ssPageName=ADME:B:EF:US:1123
and to view my photography
www.cafepress.com/TwoFoxyLadies
Photo's are changed monthy and in addition to my own work, you will also find photography for sale here by other Foxy photographers I work with.
If you have something special you wish me to paint or photograph for you, just contact me and we can see what we can create together - for you!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
I miss you Mom
June... dreaded June. Pollen hangs thickly in the air, running nose, drippy eyes, stuffy head and itchy skin.
Remind me why people look forward to June? Yesterday my dear sweet Hollywood was put to sleep. She was my first cat. There has never ever been a cat like her in the world. I've had a fair share of cats since her, but Hollywood... she was simply something special.
Maria told me she went peacefully. Her and Cyril held her paw as she slipped into the next life. If I think about it, I can feel her little paws, see her beautiful green eyes. She has touched me like no other cat ever will. I can't stop crying I miss her so very, very much.
Today is my dead Mother's birthday. She died March 1st, 1989 after many years of diabetic related illnessess. When she died she had gangreen (hope I'm spelling that right, if not screw it... just don't care right now) running throughout her entire body. There was nothing left. I miss her so much, I never got the opportunity to spoil my Mother. Just to say hey Mom let's go shopping it's ALL on me! I want to sit in the sunshine and discuss guys, cooking, religion, music everything with my Mom. I can't... because she was taken from me, when I was 16. I'm going to listen to Creedance Clearwater Revival all day today for Mom and tonight my husband and I will go to McDonald's and I'll eat something there for her. I used to eat a Big Mac for her, but I can no longer stomach those, they make me feel really ill. It was her favourite!!! God I miss her... I miss her so very much.
June 12th is also a very difficult day for me. It's the anniversary of the day a bullet took my Father's life in 1981. He was born September 25th, 1949. My Father may not have been perfect, far from perfect... but he was my Father and he certainly didn't deserve a bullet through the brain to end his life. The official report, suicide... but everyone knows the other guy pulled the trigger and it was covered up. Why? Because this guy was a normal guy who made a mistake, and my Father... he was nothing but trouble. Why destroy a good guys life, when it can be chalked up to suicide and pushed under the rug.
It's hard for me to say I miss my Dad. I don't miss who he was back then, but I do miss the potential of who he could have become if he had gotten help. I miss that we never had an adult relationship. I never got to go fishing with my Dad (his favourite hobby) or help him work on an engine together or build something together. He had so much potential if it hadn't of been for his youth, the drugs, the alchohol, gambling and more.
It's funny I said to my cousin Greg the other day, how I still expect one day... some crystal meth addicted person will contact me and they will be my long lost half brother or sister from one of the zillion hookers my Dad slept with. It's highly doubtful and of the babies that would have come out of that situation would have became anything more than a drug addicted, crack addict or something.
If it hadn't of been for my Mother, my sweet niave Mother... who knows what I would have become. I ran so far from home as soon as opportunity allowed. I wasn't going to be part of that scene. I wanted an education. I wanted a normal life, with a roof over my head, a job, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence.
Okay maybe I didn't get the 2.5 kids... but I have 2 dogs and a cat, that comes close doesn't it? And I don't have a white picket fence, it's natural wood coloured. But at least I have a fence, a yard and a sturdy roof over my head in a house I own with my dear husband.
I guess it's just painful to remember, because there is nothing I can do to change it. The control freak in me, wants to make it all better, perfect... and I cannot. I want to spoil my Mother, I want to hug Hollywood and I want to ride a chopper with my Dad.
June can damn well hurry up and be over... so that I can return to my regular strange self instead of a crying soppy self... stuck in the past.
Remind me why people look forward to June? Yesterday my dear sweet Hollywood was put to sleep. She was my first cat. There has never ever been a cat like her in the world. I've had a fair share of cats since her, but Hollywood... she was simply something special.
Maria told me she went peacefully. Her and Cyril held her paw as she slipped into the next life. If I think about it, I can feel her little paws, see her beautiful green eyes. She has touched me like no other cat ever will. I can't stop crying I miss her so very, very much.
Today is my dead Mother's birthday. She died March 1st, 1989 after many years of diabetic related illnessess. When she died she had gangreen (hope I'm spelling that right, if not screw it... just don't care right now) running throughout her entire body. There was nothing left. I miss her so much, I never got the opportunity to spoil my Mother. Just to say hey Mom let's go shopping it's ALL on me! I want to sit in the sunshine and discuss guys, cooking, religion, music everything with my Mom. I can't... because she was taken from me, when I was 16. I'm going to listen to Creedance Clearwater Revival all day today for Mom and tonight my husband and I will go to McDonald's and I'll eat something there for her. I used to eat a Big Mac for her, but I can no longer stomach those, they make me feel really ill. It was her favourite!!! God I miss her... I miss her so very much.
June 12th is also a very difficult day for me. It's the anniversary of the day a bullet took my Father's life in 1981. He was born September 25th, 1949. My Father may not have been perfect, far from perfect... but he was my Father and he certainly didn't deserve a bullet through the brain to end his life. The official report, suicide... but everyone knows the other guy pulled the trigger and it was covered up. Why? Because this guy was a normal guy who made a mistake, and my Father... he was nothing but trouble. Why destroy a good guys life, when it can be chalked up to suicide and pushed under the rug.
It's hard for me to say I miss my Dad. I don't miss who he was back then, but I do miss the potential of who he could have become if he had gotten help. I miss that we never had an adult relationship. I never got to go fishing with my Dad (his favourite hobby) or help him work on an engine together or build something together. He had so much potential if it hadn't of been for his youth, the drugs, the alchohol, gambling and more.
It's funny I said to my cousin Greg the other day, how I still expect one day... some crystal meth addicted person will contact me and they will be my long lost half brother or sister from one of the zillion hookers my Dad slept with. It's highly doubtful and of the babies that would have come out of that situation would have became anything more than a drug addicted, crack addict or something.
If it hadn't of been for my Mother, my sweet niave Mother... who knows what I would have become. I ran so far from home as soon as opportunity allowed. I wasn't going to be part of that scene. I wanted an education. I wanted a normal life, with a roof over my head, a job, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence.
Okay maybe I didn't get the 2.5 kids... but I have 2 dogs and a cat, that comes close doesn't it? And I don't have a white picket fence, it's natural wood coloured. But at least I have a fence, a yard and a sturdy roof over my head in a house I own with my dear husband.
I guess it's just painful to remember, because there is nothing I can do to change it. The control freak in me, wants to make it all better, perfect... and I cannot. I want to spoil my Mother, I want to hug Hollywood and I want to ride a chopper with my Dad.
June can damn well hurry up and be over... so that I can return to my regular strange self instead of a crying soppy self... stuck in the past.
Monday, June 1, 2009
RIP Hollywood
RIP Hollywood. My kitty cat. You came into this world on October 8th, 1990. You leave us June 1st, 2009.
I still remember the day Steven and I brought you home. I was sick from school that morning, at the age of 17. By early afternoon I was feeling better from whatever I was sick from. Steven and I looked through the paper and found you... we decided hey let's get a cat.
We called and you were the last kitten left in the litter. We got on the bus in the bitter cold. It was winter in Saskatchewan and I was stupid enough to wear little blue suede china doll shoes. We brought a box with a blanket in it with us and went across the city on the bus.
The bus driver let us off on the wrong stop and we had to walk forever in the bitter cold. Steven left me at a bus stop and he ran the rest of the way to get you. We bundled you up in that box and I could see you little nose and eyes peeking at me between the holes in the box.
We stopped at Safeway and put you in the cart. We bought you all the things a kitty cat needs and took you home.
You were so shy, hiding under the tv stand. I cried to Steven... afraid you'd never love me and come to me. I'd never owned a cat before and you were special and I wanted to love you more than anything.
We woke up in the night and there you were cuddled up between us. This beautiful kitten with the greenest eyes I'd ever seen. We named you Hollywood because we just knew you were a shining star.
I want you to know, I'll never forget you. You will always remain with me. I cannot thank you enough for loving me and being in my life. I would not have made it through so many things if you hadn't of been there, holding my hand always reassuring me, things would be okay.
I'll miss you my baby, my darling, my love. My adorable kitten sent from heaven above. You amazed me with your tricks and your talents. You could open a pizza box of any size or shape. You could hear a yoghurt container being open from 10 miles away. You would always sit and listen, you never judged me. In good times and bad, dear sweet Holly. You were always there for me.
RIP baby girl. Mama loves you...
I still remember the day Steven and I brought you home. I was sick from school that morning, at the age of 17. By early afternoon I was feeling better from whatever I was sick from. Steven and I looked through the paper and found you... we decided hey let's get a cat.
We called and you were the last kitten left in the litter. We got on the bus in the bitter cold. It was winter in Saskatchewan and I was stupid enough to wear little blue suede china doll shoes. We brought a box with a blanket in it with us and went across the city on the bus.
The bus driver let us off on the wrong stop and we had to walk forever in the bitter cold. Steven left me at a bus stop and he ran the rest of the way to get you. We bundled you up in that box and I could see you little nose and eyes peeking at me between the holes in the box.
We stopped at Safeway and put you in the cart. We bought you all the things a kitty cat needs and took you home.
You were so shy, hiding under the tv stand. I cried to Steven... afraid you'd never love me and come to me. I'd never owned a cat before and you were special and I wanted to love you more than anything.
We woke up in the night and there you were cuddled up between us. This beautiful kitten with the greenest eyes I'd ever seen. We named you Hollywood because we just knew you were a shining star.
I want you to know, I'll never forget you. You will always remain with me. I cannot thank you enough for loving me and being in my life. I would not have made it through so many things if you hadn't of been there, holding my hand always reassuring me, things would be okay.
I'll miss you my baby, my darling, my love. My adorable kitten sent from heaven above. You amazed me with your tricks and your talents. You could open a pizza box of any size or shape. You could hear a yoghurt container being open from 10 miles away. You would always sit and listen, you never judged me. In good times and bad, dear sweet Holly. You were always there for me.
RIP baby girl. Mama loves you...
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